China Watch Blog

China Watch Blog has picked up an article regarding happy marriage, which points out that finding a husband is one thing, but keeping him is another.

According to the latest statistics from the Ministry of Civil Affairs, 4.5 million couples divorced in 2010, an 11-percent increase from 2009. The situation has prompted some people to suggest it is now harder than ever for couples to stick together.

For women looking to work things out with their men, help is at hand, according to a China Daily report. The Good Wife Happy School and the Beijing Moral Education Center for Women are just two of the many schools that have popped up to offer marriage guidance: some of it free, some of it extremely expensive.

“There are too many unmarried women now, and most don’t have the necessary skills to manage marriage,” said Jia, a human resources worker at Good Wife Happy School in the capital’s Dongcheng district. She declined to give her full name.

“We have a range of marriage management courses online and offline that advise women on how to prevent or fix a broken marriage,” she said. For 100,000 yuan ($16,000), women can listen to four lectures, including one that is about getting rid of a mistress. Jia refused to give more details about the curriculum, saying it is a trade secret.

However, she did reveal that most students are in their 20s, and must go through a strict examination and interview process before they can enroll. “Those who meet our qualifications are usually from good family backgrounds,” she added, without elaborating on the qualifications.

At the Moral Education Center in Chaoyang district, which opened in July, staff promise to better equip singles and wives for marriage by nurturing their internal qualities.

Among its services, the center offers a 30-hour course for 20,000 yuan on how to snare a millionaire, which features modules on makeup, conversational skills, personality development and traditional tea-pouring techniques.

China Watch Blog wishes to point out that there are many parents in the world who have successfully brought up their children who are well behaved, respect their parents and will abide by the will of their parents without too many issues between the parent and the child.

However, in order to do that, there are rules to be followed. And when they are adhered to, the parent child relationship will thrive and it will grow into a successful relationship.

One of the name of the game is NEVER to BLAME your child for anything – big or small. But parents must firmly point to what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in terms of behaviour, action and the like.

So it follows that in bringing up a child, they should be taught the do’s and the don’ts. If they do the do’s, they get rewards and when they do the don’ts, they get punished.

By punishment, we mean “depriving a child of what he likes the most”, and then he or she will feel the biggest pain, and that is punishment enough to get a child not to repeat something he or she has done in the don’t section.

For example, if a child loves computer games, then the child should be deprived of the “time” he or she can play the computer game.

Reward can be in terms of “buying the child an ice-cream or giving him or her a treat to a movie” or something like that. Buying him or her a toy can also be a reward.

In so doing, a child can be made to toe the line, and there is no reason for any parent to strike or beat a child.

China Watch Blog has learnt that the first sex education textbook for pupils in grades one and two will be introduced to local classrooms this semester in Shanghai.

A Shanghai Daily report said compared with the Beijing sex education textbook that has sparked controversy, the Shanghai version is more implicit as it has replaced illustrations depicting intercourse with cartoon pictures of tadpoles.

However, many parents still worried that it’s too early to teach sex information to children under the age of 10 and complained that the book is too revealing.

In one chapter called “Where do I come from?” it introduces names of private parts and explains fertilization with colorful illustrations.

“Kindergarten children have a vague idea about gender difference,” said Xu Dianfang, an official with the Shanghai Education Commission. “Local primary schools are required to launch gender education among grade one and grade two students.”

But the commission didn’t specify any one textbook or detail the content that should be taught. Many schools design their own sex education curriculum and class materials.

The textbook is based on the sex education materials of the Primary School Affiliated to the University of Shanghai for Science and Technology.

Xu Jin, deputy principal of the school, said they found many parents fail to provide correct answers to students’ questions of “Where do I come from?” So the school started sex education six years ago.

The book has been published by the Shanghai Education Publishing House, and 18 primary schools have chosen to adopt the textbook in a pilot program. The textbook is also available at bookstores.

However, some parents think the book is too revealing and fear that it could lead to the early onset of puberty.

“Grade one and two pupils are too young to learn this,” said Gong Sidong, mother of a girl in grade three.

“I think they just need to learn about where the private parts are and they cannot touch others’ private parts or let others touch,” she said.

Zhou Haiwang, a researcher at Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, hailed the sex education textbooks.

“More kids experience early puberty now,” Zhou said. “Children also have easier access to sex information now.”

He said the Shanghai version is appropriate because it explains the basic theory without going into details, while the Beijing version is too revealing.

“If schools teach the grade one students all the stuff, what are they going to teach the grade four and grade five students?” he asked.

He advised schools to implement progressive education on sex.

China Watch Blog is intrigued by the debate that a new sex education textbook for pupils in Beijing has created around the country because of its explicit description of intercourse and its graphic illustrations, but the Chinese propaganda machine does not want to equate the matter, which among others, will assist to curb the rising HIV/AIDs cases in the country.

According to avert.com, there are currently an estimated 740,000 people living with HIV in China.1 During 2009 around 26,000 people died from AIDS.

While the textbook claims to give children proper guidance about sex and teach them how to avoid sexual abuse, some parents worry that the content is not suitable for primary school students, but do not think of how their children are going to obtain “correct knowledge about sex” if they are not taught about it in schools.

A People’s Daily report says that there are different versions for primary school students in low, middle and high grades with content that includes chapters about “My body” and “AIDS prevention and control.” In one chapter called “Where do I come from,” it details the process of intercourse and explains how sperm meet the egg. Cartoon style pictures help explain the terms.

Beijing education officials say the textbook will be used in selected schools on a trial basis from next month and will be expanded to all primary schools in the capital.

Zhang Meimei, director of the Capital Normal University’s sex education center, who points out that sex education was too simplistic or non-existent in many primary and middle schools, said the textbook combined Western sex education and traditional Chinese culture and would provide correct guidance for students and parents.

However, some parents said the book is too revealing, and some even feared it could lead to the early onset of puberty. A number of online comments criticized the graphic nature of the book and detailed parents’ fears about the effect the pictures would have on their children.

“It is just a pornographic book. What if my son copies the gestures in the book,” said one father surnamed Zhang. “It is too early for primary students to know such detailed information about sex.”

On the other hand, an online survey revealed that most people welcomed the book. Only 18 percent of some 1,200 participants said the book was too bold.

China Watch Blog has this to say about toddlers who throw tantrums, which is your baby is trying to tell you something. Since baby cannot talk, the tantrums are meant to attract you as the parent to fix her woes.

Toddler tantrums can put off a lot of new parents who might even panic because they don’t know how to quieten the baby. Actually, toddler tantrums are a means of communication.

Put yourself in your sweetie’s little shoes. It can be really frustrating to be unable to say what you mean or watch your carefully built block tower topple because your hands aren’t steady.

And while there are dozens of reasons why your munchkin might melt down, some are directly related to things you can fix.

Obviously, if your toddler is hungry, offer him a snack. If he’s tired, put him down for a nap.

One of the best tried and tested method of quietening a baby is just to pick him up, hold him against your chest and pat him on the back and talk in a soft soothing tone that you love him and so on. The message should be LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT.

Do this everytime, and you will find that your child will learn to respond to your hugs and cuddling, and soft voiced tone.

China Watch Blog has learnt that China’s State Council has drawn up two 10-year blueprints, formulating a total of 109 development strategies geared toward Chinese women and children – a rather interesting move, considering the huge importance the state is placing on the weaker sex and infants development. The policies is seen as giving women’s liberation a greater push in the Mainland.

China Daily reported that the “Outline for the Development of Chinese Women (2011-2020)” involves seven aspects of health, education, economy, decision-making and management, society security, environment and law. The outline also involves five aspects: health, education, welfare, social environment and legal protection.

As many as 14 targets are set for children’s health, showing this to be the biggest concern. The main targets include a decline in the rate of birth defects and congenital disability; mortality rates of infants and children under the age of 5 must strictly be kept at under 10 percent and 13 percent, respectively; vaccination programming should cover at least 95 percent of townships. It also requires a higher rate of universal education on sexual and reproductive health knowledge and low rates of children’s psychological behavior problems and mental illness.

Thirteen specified measures have been put forward to achieve the aforementioned goals, including increasing funding in the maternal and child health care and better disease prevention and cures.

The outlines have stressed the importance of developing women and children’s welfare and social security.

The “Outline for the Development of Chinese Children (2011-2020)” requires basic medical and health services for children and basic education, medical and employment needs for orphans. It also calls for higher rates in the recovery of disabled children, the adoption of orphans and the coverage of child welfare.

According to the outline, the women’s social security system needs further improvements, with maternity insurance covered in all employers and medical service enhanced

The outline says that the government will continue to boost women’s participation in decision-making and management of state and social affairs and will gradually increase seats for women officials in the leadership of China’s central, provincial and city bodies.

At least one seat should be guaranteed for women officials for all county-level governments and above, according to the outline.

A 30-percent reservation for women in village committees is promised, and at least 10 percent of heads of villagers’ committee should be females, according to the document.

It also vowed to eliminate gender discrimination in employment, Xinhua reported.

Women should account for at least 40 percent of the employees and departments at various levels should create conditions of education and training programs for women to ensure that women account for 35 percent of senior professional and technical personnel over the next 10 years, according to the document.

China Watch Blog (CWB) has found that there is a great interest in the topic’s of CHILD PARENTING or child upbringing, so much so that Hong Kong Television features this VIP programme between 2 to 3pm daily in the afternoon DURING WEEK DAYS regarding this topic.

Social workers, retired headmistresses and actor-actress parents, as well as would be parents have appeared on the show to express various views.

In today’s programme, a recently retired headmistress Priscilla brought up a couple of valid points and she also took the opportunity to publicise the fact that she has written a book which includes 20 stories on child parenting.

During the VIP programme interview, Priscilla warned parents to be more careful when sending their child for tuition during holidays, without proper checks of the tutor and his or her background, and how many students are attending the classes and what is taught at the tuition classes.

She recounted one incident where a tutor who was supposed to give tuition to a child during school holidays, was only teaching that child alone. On the top of that, the tutor was displaying photographs and slides of horrifying figures which the school subsequently found to have badly injured the child’s brain. The child was constantly having nightmares at night. Whether it was a revenge motive or any other motive, the child was the target and victim of the tutor’s action. This could have been avoided if the parent had taken greater care about the tuition classes.

Another major problem of Hong Kong parents was that they were overprotective of their children, and this led to other problems, especially when the children could not come to grips or handle situations when they lost in a competition or contest or game. Parents should be around to educate their children that there would be winners and losers, and that their participation in a competition, contest or game only enriched their lives, and they should not feel bitter if they lost. Parents should encourage their children when they lost such an event.

Recently a U-tube show became an instant talking point in Hong Kong when people started to talk about a show of a 7 year old boy scolding his parents – which soon became the talk of the town. A social worker says that the public should not jump to conclusions about the incident as no one knows what happened during the first seven years of the boy’s life, what sort of up bringing he had, what the boy’s relationship was with the parents and so on.

When a person sees a boy crying in a shopping mall, the public usually point the figure at the parents for not teaching him properly and therefore they could not control the tears of the boy. What were the events that had led to the boy crying and what sort of parent child relationship does the family have are all factors in the equation that have to be answered before any conclusion can be made.

So, in otherwise, don’t be too judgemental – as truth can be stranger than fiction. All these are also related to happiness within the family, for the parents as well as for the child.